Member of Parliament, paranoia and Schozophrenia

I was on another little tourist trip today.
Many thoughts went through my head as I had an urge to piss in the Christening fountain in the Carmelite Cathedral.

Later on in my local joint, I wanted to take pictures of memorable people dancing with their 17 year old girlfriends and have a good memory, as well as wishing I was 15 years younger.
A young man was dancing right by where I could get my best shot. He4 was dancing with a girl that must have been at least 5 years younger than him. Unfortunately he turned around and shoved me off like he was some sort of a movie star trying to get away from paparazzo’s or something.
I quickly turned around to get a better shot, until the fat bastard was coming into my face, and started lecturing me on some sort of a local law.
-“Do you know who I am” the creature told me.
-Nope! And I don’t give a shit I told him”.
The creature started muscling out his proclaimed authority as a member of parliament, and started to ask me questions on where I came from, and that he could get me thrown out of this schizoid island.
I told him back that I was a freelance journalist5, and could fuck him up at will. He still didn’t want to back up untilAgsin it was this threatening tone he got some of his “friends” to cover from him.
Power people, eh?
They’re more sickening every time I have an encounter with them.
I asked the peewee of a friend to take his photo instead outside. And all I wanted was to get a few shots of people loving each other and having a good time!
This member of parliament who started to threaten me can kiss my ass and hope that I won’t dig up some real dirt on him. Because anyone who threatens me with their puny power will get it tenfolds back, and it will be no holds barred!
Anyone asking for more stories from a certain betting company and their whore for a lawyer, don’t worry, I got some.
I just found out that this so called doctor is a freshman, and is of one of the older families here with Power shoved up his ass with a teaspoon.
I guess they Have never met a real life veteran before with the venom of a Cobra in his veins and in his writings…
I feel almost sorry for these pricks you let your island being run into the ground on complete lack of moral grounds…
Oh, I almost forgot to mention: The lawyer that the Company has hired to fry my ass, and sue me for a 100,000 Euros is in the same circuits as one of my sparring partners and supporters back in my own country.
I already knew that Malta has been infested by power whores the last 2000 years, but it seems to get worse, as the bastards in Parliament are the biggest hypocrites of you all. And they seem to think that they will slip away from my watchful eye?
Another thing: I have contacts within the legal system that can feed me with more that 35 000 pages on the betting industry alone!
What dirt do you think I can dig up on this you reckon? It’s gonna be a long boring read, but I’ll make it more entertaining.
Believe me!
And I asked for the name of the wee chicken hawk who threatened me. The dumbest thing he could have done!
Because this made me curious! Threats are the same to me as “Do not push button” sign is for Homer Simpson! “Leave it alone the wee moron told me”. Soon he didn’t want his picture taken either.
And I made an analogy to a dysfunctional Dad in all o9f this.
Remember this:
When I have a pen and a camera, I’m at my most dangerous! Especially when I get a hook on something! A story!
The Company have not made any threats the last two weeks. They are either cooking up something serious, or they have backed off. If they know what is good for them, they would have backed off.
The sad thing here is, that they have pushed me one step too far. One good thing for them, is that I have been smoking a ton of weed, and gotten a bit off my crusade against pinheads and power mongers. My medication have made me relax a bit.
Give me a bottle of Whisky and a snort, and I will be right back to where they threatened me to shut down my wee vicious pack of facts!
This member of parliament obviodly have something to hide! He’s not even 35, and dancing with a kid that could have been a young daughter in the most provocative ways. And this power monger tried to pull ranks on me…. Sorry lads…! I will find the bastard again, and make him lose his career as statutory rapist of young girls and your democracy. He’s using his position to threaten people to think his anything better than the rest of the mortals. How sad! He’s just met the only immortal he will ever meet in his life! If he knows what is good for him! The next ,meeting will not be so heartly!
Bohemian Writer, May 2009

New scary tactics from the Master

 There’s so many things that start to feel a bit… disconnected.

I’ve been to this insane island for 6 weeks! I got sacked after two weeks. Got well paid after two weeks of torture by the CEO himself. The only Big Boss that have ever shown me any sort of respect! The only one in the company that actually seem to be human. The only fan mail I got for my blog so far was an angry letter from a wee wage slave that think sh was doing anything good by sending me a hate mail. And the latest thing was a legal threat from the manager or Betssons lawyer to try to make me shut up! They are trying to intimidate me into not telling my side of the story. They are trying to threaten me from actually using their name in all my journalistic writings or in any form of fiction. They are in fact trying to censor me. They do not like freedom of speech! I will now quote the whole letter to show you how they abusing their power! They are misusing their legal injustice to silence any critic. I will give a respond to each of these accusations one at the time. “RE: Dear Mr. Alme,I write on behalf of……. Ta’Xbiex, Malta, with reference to the above captioned blog.

 It has come to our client’s attention that you have posted various defamatory comments on the above captioned blog relative to Betsson and its employees as a result of which you have acted in breach of your employment contract, criminal law and press law amongst others. In view of the foregoing, by mean of this present you are hereby being formally called upon to immediately delete all comments and preferences, direct and indirect, to Betsson and its employees and to refrain further of the same nature. In default, further legal actions shall be taken against you, including but not limited to action for breach of contract and legal action For you attention and guidance. Signed… Lawyer..”

These are pretty serious charges and threat towards me, don’t you think? Let’s look at each and everyone of them a bit closer. And I haven’t even finished my blog story on Betsson yet? And these are threats? I think that some little boss who’s afraid to lose her job… again that I’m just shooting in the dark here, but as my sources can tell me that this Manager has a history of being sacked for sacking too many people at every place she’s worked. Her so called guru is a supposed call centre guru with a psychology degree. Well, he’s got many truths to him. But the ones who put forward these charges are afraid that I find out that they are not good at following good advice. Even my mother didn’t have the same cynicism as I have experienced and heard here. And now, they are trying to silence me. Now they are threatening to arrest me for simply writing the truth as I see it! First of all, the “breach of contract”…. What does that mean? I got some very serious charges against me already the first week. I spoke to people, told them stories to get them to open up. And they started to tell me the truth. If oversleeping due to illness is a breach of contract… Well, the one who put forward this lame attempt to silence me, have been late almost every day I was there. Besides half the charges that got me sacked was out of line anyway. “Reeking of booze” is the most ridiculous charge still. Half the people that came in there reeked of booze anyway. Except for our little queen who can pick on anyone she don’t like! After that last meeting, I started to take notes about what was going on. And I have not stopped since.

Second: “Criminal Law?” Again, please enlighten me Is it against the law writing about drugs? And even describing one’s own experiences with it? Half the people in Betsson does drugs, none of the employees minds that another smoke a spliff or snort a baseball line. No one dare to be vocal about it! It’s taboo to be vocal about it! It’s a theme that only comedians and clowns dare to talk about! So it seems. The only thing they have on me is my mere description of so called criminal acts! They are doing this because they are afraid of me, and try to scare me into silence. They got something to hide. If I really ever could have done a criminal act, is if they have offered me twice as much for me to keep my shut. And not even that would have been a security for my loyalty. When I start on a new job, my loyalty stays with them. When I leave, my loyalty is left behind. And if I got something to say about things, I have editors that will give me their wives, a case of drugs and a check for a job well done. “Criminal Law” is nothing but barking on a moving tree! Unless they are all Scientologists! The third one is probably the most hilarious. “Press Law”? Again, what press law are you talking about Have I given any proof that I work for a newspaper? If what I write have any truths to it, I can write about anything I please, or what my editor will pay me for. At the moment, I am an outlaw journalist. That means, anything goes. And obviously the company have decided to go to war with me. They are trying to discredit my integrity as a writer! I don’t have to say I’m doing what I’m doing to everyone. Yet it seems to scare some people and companies off when I do some rants. The thing is, we got freedom of speech! No one have the right not to be offended! Not even when it’s close to the truth! Fact is, there is very few of my kind in my style of writing. We are feared! We dare to challenge the establishment! And once they feel threatened, they do another tactic to make me compromise my integrity as a writer! I’m sorry! Whatever you are trying to silence, it won’t work! I have already sent my pieces to the right people long before, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. People already know. And they will know more after I’m completely finished with my story. If Europe had its own Rolling Stone Magazine, they would love my story. Hell! They might even love it the US! Prove to our WASPs over the dam that Europeans can be just as rotten as any fundie from Texas or Alabama! Or Washington! We are also a continent full of scammers that hide under legal cover to be able to screw you over and make you shut up about it! And your elected reps. is a part of it! They are nothing more than hookers for Big Business and their own breaches of decent conduct. One little ironic part of this is, that once they found out I was a writer, they started playing mind games with me. They should have known! The last one they want to screw with is a writer with balls and an ounce of integrity. It’s a rare treat these days… Most newspapers don’t have it. Unless they prove to me that they can show facts! I build my theory on the fact that one of my friends and new editor with a camera just arrived. He got a job in another company. They didn’t seem to mind him being journalist. Betsson wouldn’t even touch him! When Betsson eventually find out that I use writing and pissing off people with an ounce of truth as an excuse for living, they didn’t like that. So they are sending me legal threats and didn’t even give me the paragraphs or any proof that I would be guilty of any of these allegations. I’m a humble writer who’s just describing the world as he sees it. Insane, corrupt, drug induced, hypocritical, schizophrenic, self justified, moronic, and just plain dumb! And they use old fashioned tactics to scare you off! They are using the same methods and expect a different result each time. Well, maybe not in the call centre industry. The Igaming industry as I have seen and heard from reliable sources, it’ s as rotten as any oil company that act patriotic in the Gulf and scream out “America is number one!” Malta and Sliema is truly a schizophrenic place! I have seen many crazy places! The nuttiest places I have been working is in offices like Betsson! I can be your best friend or your worst enemy! Elements in my office decided to rub me the wrong way, decided that I have done all these charges, they decided to wage war on me for simply telling the truth.


A positive drug story

Bill Hicks once asked for a positive drug story in his shows. Well, he asked for it several times. Well, here goes. I got five of them!

Here’s the motivation:

1994: First time I ever had a joint was in Grand Canary Island. A friend of mine from my non paying work was getting some hashish. He was five years older than me. I was fresh out of my tour of duty, and needed a new adventure to forget the shit I went through only a few months earlier.

By then I have lost my faith completely in my own government. They have lied to me since day one! So I trusted my friend on this. Until then, I was very skeptical to any illicit drug. I was still brainwashed on this matter.

“What you have heard in school, and from the government about hashish is nothing but lies and propaganda!, he told me.

We went down to the local hashish guy, and got a few grams for practically nothing. We smoked some of it right there, and on our way back to our apartment complex. The smoke soon got a hold. I cannot remember laughing so much in one go. Everything became something laughable. I was not like the normal person, getting sick, or getting paranoia. This was good. My friend told me that I would soon get tired, and sleep like a baby. He was right! As soon as we got to his apartment, I was soon sound asleep on a couch. He was sharing with three other people. No worries.

During that time, I found out that most people I was working with, was smokers. Our team leader was an ex. Policeman from Northern Norway. Also he could tell stories on busts he once took part of. Now, he had quit that business, and was a team leader full of stoners. He’d seen through the lies that he was once upholding.

It was an eye opener. Since then, I have mostly used cannabis as a part of my spiritual practices. I have not seen back since. Every time a new version of Lord of the Rings came out on DVD, I made a case to get myself some good spliffs. I told everybody to leave me alone these special nights. It was me and Tolkien these times.


Belfast, summer 2005:

I was finished with my book, Birds the Bees and a Bottle of Whiskey.

I was not well for two months after that. I was on way to full self destruction on booze and Guinness. Breakdown was imminent.

My doctor gave me anti depressant which made me even more ill. I looked for something that could help me against the side effects of the drugs I got from my certified dealer.

I also needed to be on the wagon. So, I took a gamble. I went to my favorite pub, Lavery’s back bar, my dealer’s corner to try something. I ordered a coke with ice. For the first time I’m not drinking alcohol. I waited. Soon one of my contacts, showed up, and I got a quarter of an ounce for twenty quid. I did not smoke anything there and then, but went home and rolled the fattest joint on this side of Eden. It was good. For the first time in months, my mind could relax. For the first time in months, my soul got some peace. And I got hungry. Life came back to me, and the soup tasted better than ever. I ate a half a box of After Eight chocolates, a few apples, and went down to the kitchen and heated up some of the soup that my Elfish Queen made me when she was down to check up on me.

After that, I never missed the alcohol. In the weekends, I would smoke a joint in the morning and go to Botanic Gardens, sit down under a tree in the sunshine, read my Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and felt at peace with the world around me that I have never felt before. The tree was talking to me. So was the hashish. So was the book I read for the second time. I was at one with everything and everyone. The feeling of forgiveness and compassion filled my heart. I was smoking hashish…


Fall 2005, Belfast:

For months I was escaping from reality of a job more boring than an assembly line. I had until the  sacrificed my health, a relationship and my sanity to save their sorry asses.

 I was living less than a mile from my ex. girlfriend. Something was stirring inside of me. And I couldn’t stand the thought of going back to my place. I needed the Shangri La of Lavery’s. I drank my dinner there, and smoked like a chimney, and wrote. People knew me quite well at this point. They would leave me alone when I wrote, and talked to me when I was free. An old IRA hit man wanted me to write his story. I was reluctant, since I might come into something deeper than I wanted or needed. But I made my promise. High as a kite, stoned like a mountain, I wrote “Night in Bin City”…  Little did I know that in less than 18 months, I would get this particular piece getting exhibited in the gallery of Belfast’s Art forums; with a little help from my girlfriend at the time. Boy, if they only knew what state of mind I was in when I wrote the smear.

May 2006, Belfast:

The happiest time I had in Belfast.

I have moved to the Northern part of town. I had a new job, and a new girlfriend who loved me. Only 3 months earlier, I had hit rock bottom. But somehow, I found the strength and determination to get myself out of the hell hole without the help from anyone. It happened.

For the first time in my life, I decided to go for the LSD experience. No regrets, no bad thoughts about it.

Kim was living only a few miles away from me. I have gotten a few stamps from one of my dealers for a fiver together with my normal medicine.

I was in my room on top: A blue room that in certain light could be something from a ghost story. Well, the house was in fact haunted. But that didn’t bother me much at the time. I took both stamps, and swallowed it with a beer. I was on SMS with Kim. We were both deeply in love with each other. I was happy. The LSD was working. As I went to the bathroom to shake my thing, I looked out the window. The sun was setting. The colors shined brighter than anything I have ever experienced. A poem went through my mind. In less than 20 minutes, I wrote a poem that would be exhibited together with my other wee description of Bin City. I saw colors. I went through every hardship in Belfast, and faced it with piece of mind, and a joyous heart. An LSD experience well worth taking. By then, I have said good bye to whiskey for good. Good bye Whiskey, hello hashish and LSD. Benign drugs both of them. Good drugs if taken under the right circumstances.

One of them is growing under a heat lamp in my closet right now…

Soon, I will go collecting magic mushrooms. Soon, I will plant little seeds all over the island I am on. I will become a Marihuana guru, and let people know the benefits of certain illegal plants in comparison to a bottle of whisky at 3 in the morning…

Summer 2007:

After a few rocky months with my soon to be wife, and anger towards the Elfish Queen, I went to an old hippie woman to get my hashish. I call her my old aunt. Sometimes she acts like it. It was Saturday afternoon. It was her birthday. I brought her a six pack of beers. We shared a few bong hits together. They are stronger than the normal joint. They often hit me hard, and I need to relax. Lien down, and let everything come to me. After being angry and depressed for months, Kim was soon coming to visit me. Things were looking better. As I let the bong hit work, I rolled another joint. Again, peace came over me; forgiveness and compassion. As if all the answers to any problem I’ve gone through until then came straight to me.

Hashish and marihuana is not like what the different governments wants you to believe. If your mind is open to it, and ask for it, whatever problem you might have, Cannabis will talk to you, and give you hidden answers you would not find in either alcohol or pills pushed by your local doctor. The latter kills your ability to think straight. They both numb your mind. Cannabis may open your mind to new things you never would have discovered before.

Was this good enough for you Bill Hicks?


The Bohemian Writer, Malta 2009

I just killed your God!

If you ever had a religious fruit on your door when you’re in your drug induced world, you would know what I speak of. At least if you’re an ounce like me! You’d tell them to fuck off, and leave their god out of my business. You see I also used to believe in Santa and that we came from the stork!

I told off some Jehovas Witnesses on my door at my Irish fiancés’ house.

Religion is…like sex! You choose whatever horny pastor you get off on! Well, it may have some preferences put into it as well! One doesn’t choose ones sexual preferences; or the culture that you are born within. You are all creating your god into your own cultural preferences and your customs. Ultimately your god only exist in your head, and you give your god the same intolerance as you yourself are plagued with. And then you make it normal! And think that anything different is abnormal and should be punished in your god’s name!

If you think that your god lives and exist, than I have some bad news for you!

I killed your god! Like I did with Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, I tracked him down like a rabid beast! I chopped his legs and arms off with a rusty chain saw! And then I raped him from behind with an AIDS infested baseball bat stuck with an army of posioness ants! Then my God from the North, Ty, the War god gave me an axe and chopped off his head! Now your god is serving as a jizzcather for a flock of baboons in heat!

Those baboons are you! The crowd that is buying into the dogma of so called faith! Claims to have answers but have no real question! You all sicken me! Brainwashed, dumb and gullible! You’re the ones who go to the polls voting for the same asshole that’s been lying to you for the past 4 years!

You’re the ones who go to work every day and think that your boss is actually a nice person!

Religious fanatics and slaves of a scrupulous boss, and scrupulous politicians and snake oil salesmen whose only interest is to cover their asses and keep control over the masses! May you all croak of some horrible venereal disease that no one has heard of!

That means you!


The Bohemian Writer, May 2009


A wizard is never late! Nor is he early! He comes precisely when he means to!” Gandalf

Week two: Paranoia!

 Fifteen to nine, I sit at my desk, checking my email. Freshly showered, but not shaved and clothes from the night before, this is what I’m here door! Ten over nine, I read some news from home. Home is as fucked up already that nothing can and will surprise me no more. No boss showing up! No trainer! Good! Thee sleep was a bit off the night before. Something was brewing in me. All I wanted was to go and sleep again. And do another rant before I could pass out. Lack of sleep started to get to me. Once the Trainer came in, I knew that it might mean, another tiring hour of lecture. The night before, people were drunker than they could handle! During the day, I saw plenty of tired people. Young punks! Some of them I even had a conversation with! They all looked tired and hangover. An incident happened! A Greek was called into the bosses office, and it seemed like they had an argument. The Boss seemed to be in a good shape! Like a Frank Burns of Call Centers. I got the same treatment when I thought I could go home. The trainer wants me to have the “One to One” talk first, and she cannot wait. She calls me into this relaxation room, an ask me to wait. She makes me wait for several minutes. I wonder why. I thought this was going to be a one to one. But no! Before long, Megan turns up! She has something on her mind! -“I have never had to have four talks with one person after just one week”, she says. She is sitting right there, looking at me. And the Queen Bee! And they’re starting to accuse me from the beginning. I was too tired to give a good response. But the more ¬I got wind up! -“You reek if booze”, she blurted out with. That’s when I did not take it anymore! That’s when the allegations and accusations went a bit too fat. I never touch booze! At least not when someone piss me I told her that these allegations from the trainer were false! I also told her that finks are my worst enemy! False accusations are even worse. On the Friday, I get drunk. And I write! Before I know it, I see an old friend of mine from Belfast. It’s almost as if fate have struck again. He sees me before I see him. I’m sitting in front of my office. Before I know it, a familiar face stands right before me. Some things start to become a bit connected again. Two of my dearest friends that helped me a bit in Belfastare both living here, and have split up. And they both don’t know how miserable they make each other with being split up! They make more people worried than just their kid! I found out the reason for why I came down here for! I came here to save a marriage! I wanted to save them from doing the same mistake that Kim Andrews and I did! She made me run away in a matter that I should not have! You Know, Stephane made me think of how I could help him! I also needed a friend to listen to my shit! Many of the ghosts of the past re appeared that night… The next few days, I get the evidence that I’m not 24 anymore. Back when I was still young and fresher out of the military, I could take anything! I’d get out of a coma in 12 hours! Now, a fever rose. For 3 days, I couldn’t move from my bed. In Norway, when you have a cold, you have a cold! On Monday morning, I manage to get in touch with my German friend for him to let the trainer know that I got sick on Saturday. I also asked for him to get the trainer to call me, and maybe also get a doctor here. I never heard from any of them all day. Instead, I slept, and did some self healing. I have never been on sick leave for three days before! I use to take four! And I let my boss know exactly where he can put it, if he won’t leave me alone! Feverish, still, I get in the shower, get on my clothes and sandals and walk down to work. It’s 15 minutes walk; Not very far. Now, it seemed like as if I was going uphill!¨ The medicine from the pharmacy had made me groggy. Ten minutes before work, I sit at my desk and read through my mail. It’s a general message from the Boss! It’s about the “sickline”. The phone number your supposed to call to when you’re sick. It’s always nice to know this afterwards, isn’t it? As usual, the trainer, whom I will from now on be remain nameless from journalistic integrity, let us in to the conference room for another lesson. Besides from poker, sportsbetting is one of my specialties. No worries! After the class is over, some geezer stand outside the room, waiting for someone. It’s me! -“You are Maarteen”, he asks me. “Can we go somewhere and have a wee chat!?” His English is not perfect. He is Swedish. Something is at foot. We find a private room and sit down together. He start talking to me about all the wrong doings I would have supposed to make. As if this was an act of treason. He gave me this peace of paper to sign. I read through it, and said, this is bullshit! I senced that the Queen didn’t have the Balls to tell 0me herself! As I was still weary from my cold, I signed some agreement on termination. I also protested, and asked if I needed to get a lawyer. Instead, he told me to read some more, and that he’d give me a check for 5000 Euros to leave this hour. At this time, I was told that other people were sacked the same way as I did. I promised him an honest review from me. I even told him where he could find it! So, I started my rants! It’s a bloody blog! And now someone from the Top didn’t like my writings! As I understand It, Many people enjoyed my wee writings from the past month or so. Most of them don’t dare to give me a response. And all of them have read my little rapport on certain businesses.

Whatever they are selling, is bullshit! That is what they want me to shut up about what is really going on. Hence, I spent the new days to write and to do my dark business My second week was fillied with righteous paranoia! Third week with a check from a boss who think I would treat this kindly! In due time, I might have forgotten about you! But some little cunt from my last company decided to wage war on me! I will promise you spineless readers! I will win! Dr. Gonzo Ad on: This company is trying to silence me with legal action. They cannot! Freedom of speech is still something they would be cherished. They only do when it’s not about themselves! It’s the natural pecking order. Power mongerers have a little disorder here du joure… They think they can threaten people to not use their free speech rights… Call me paranoid. But I think that after posting this, I might get a little visit from their goons. Because they will find out that I cannot be silenced. And they are shooting in the dark here! If they were truly serious, they would give me paragraphs!