About me.

I’m a writer. Or a traveller. SomeItimes I wonder if I’m only a traveller who happens to write about my travels. I’ve been doing that since I was 16. But you had to write about “what I did this summer.” Or was it earlier?

Memory serves. It must be the drugs…

I was born in Bergen, Norway 26th July, 1972. But I grew up in Oslo since I was 4 or 5. Travelling have always been an important part of my life. It’s the adventure itself, I guess. My mother took me along to these exotic places. And I was always envies of other kids journeys I have not been to.

The thought of true writing didn’t occur I was 19. But for years there was doubts about what the hell I was going to write about.

During the one university year after my army service, I decided it was a lot more fun sitting on my favorite pub and write poetry for 18 year old girls. Those were the days. And somehow the girls I have met since, have had an influence on what I write about.  And now, things seem to be much more serious. It’s almost like a live or die situation.

10 years ago, a series of events lead me to write columns for one of Norways most acclaimed and controversial writers and comediennes; Shabana Rehman in a major newspaper in Oslo. I regret now that I did not follow up on that more than a year. There’s nothing better than getting paid to rant and rave about deeply disturbing things that goes on around us every day.

Today, I have a little schizophrenic relationship with this “artform” called writing.  

Love and hate. Fear and loathing of both. And right now, I feel like Gollum in Lord of the Rings. There are times I have had no whish to think about writing. I’ve dreaded it. And then after  while, I miss ot so terribly it’s tearing me apart. 

There’s a novel I’ve been working on, well, it’s in my drawer somewhere which is taunting me like the Devil himself. When was writing fun last time? When was travelling fun the last time? It seem that it’s just a hunt for something lasting, and not only escapes from things or facing the dark side.

And every day without both, is one step further away from what I was supposed to do. To create strange stories from the places I have been. And there are so many other places still to visit.  

There is one writer in Norway I know about. We’ve met a few times and exchanged a few ideas. For the first time since I met the bastard, I have some strange empathy for him. Maybe even sympathy.

He’s trapped in some high class marriage with kids, and propably think about his hashish trips to Morocco as a roaming beast on a hunt.

Well! I am there right now! And it’s tearing and wearing me down.

I got a news flash for my friend in Norway: You suffer for your art! No matter what situation you’re in! It doesn’t matter wether you’re on the front of a magazine or in a strange land incognito dreaming of a peaceful spot and someone to share it with or living the life of a wild mustang roaming free, or rotting away in some attic somewhere on the East Side writing lines like “will swear for food.”

Life stinks! Wear a hat! Listen to Denis Leary’s song about how life is going to suck!

This blog will be about how I percieve things in a world that’s gone insane, and how my story is getting along.

And maybe there in the horizon there will be a place for “us”, and not just a neurotic writer trying to find sanctity in (in)sanity.

Bohemianwriter1

 

For donations in Norway, please use Nordea acct. number 6039 11 80795.

In the name of Pat Robertson and his greed, I am an outlaw Writer!

92 responses to “About me.

  1. I’m a bloody writer!

    I’m a an uncivilized barbarian from the North! Almost 6 feet and and turning into a dirty old man.

    My x. fiancee calls me a pirate! And she became quite delinquished when she found I was also one by nature.

    I have a look in my eyes that says “I’m here until I leave, so don’t give me bloody sob stories”….

    I’m an auther, writer, traveller, barfly, drunk, I do drugs, the first thing I do when I wake up is having a smoke. No matter what kind, I wash every 4 weeks, and can still get women at will.

    I’ve been exhibited in the ADF gallery with some of my works. When I came to hold a wee speech, I was high as a kite and winged it while my wife at the time fed me with wine…
    I’ve seen of the world far from as much that I like to. But if I should die tomorrow, I would have lived a richer life than any yacht owning prick who thinks he can buy the world and dictate what people should put in their minds.Hagen one of Norways richest dudes and his new wife 50 kroners for a hot dog once they have eaten all the leftovers and barely had enough for a plane tickets and fake passports.

    I did that before I went for Belfast.

    Since then in 2004, life has not quieted down. It’s been a roller coaster ride so far.

    Even though the love of my life almost turned me into a domesticated anima in Belfastl, I’ve pushed the envelopes and been living on the edge ever since.

    The further down the spiral I go, I find out that there is nothing to fear.

    I only had three big fears in life.

    What I once feared is no more. One fear is long gone in a dump somewhere.

    One fear was losing the one I loved.

    The third fear is really nothing to be afraid of. This will stick with me until the day I die: My writing.

    Got a little story about my relationship with Writing.
    You’ll read it soon enough…

    A Wizard is never late! Nor is he early! He comes preciselly when he means to!

    Morten Alme

    • Har flere arbeidskolegaer fra Marokko, og stående innvitasjon til å bli med dem ned der,og bo hos dem en uke eller tre. Det frister, men sliter litt med sykdom og er redd for å dra, da jeg er redd for å havne på fylla. De har sakt at de skal holme meg stein slik at jeg ikke trenger dette, men vi får se.
      Legger ut adressen min til Cheni, og jeg driter i hvem som ser den.
      mvh Saudahans@hotmail.com

      • Marokko skal være bra om du sliter med sykdom.

        Hvis ikke du vil ha invitasjonen, så tar jeg den gladelig jeg🙂

        Trenger bare en kronerulling a la Olaf Bull først. Heheh!

        Snart skal dagens første joint røykes. En meget god sativablanding som gjør meg trygg og lett til sinns. Hjemmedyrking er nærmest en folkesport her i Irland. Og hjemmedyrkerne er meget lidenskapelige i deres valg av frø og egenskaper. Det skulle ikke forundre meg om det blir lovlig her om ikke så lenge.

        Ellers er frokosten bestående av egg, bacon, pølser, toast, tomat, tè, juice og Guinness fortært. Sitter for tiden mitt i Dublin med utsikt til en av de mange eldgamle katedralene og planlegger neste trekk.

  2. Hiya Morten, glad to see ya have now got a blog. I only wish you can post to it in English as well, that way I can read it too.

    I recieved your facebook posts so I see that you are coming to Belfast or as you like to call it, bin-city! lol.

    Maybe we can get together for a coffee.

    Maurice.

  3. From those of us glad to see you go. Have fun, but please buy some new clothes(Same for 3 months). This place ain’t bad, just you and some bile. So leave and go where other freaks reside.

    From All

    • Do you want to place ads on my site?

      Wanna pay out some hard cold cash and help spread my sledgehammer of Truth?

    • First of all, I care little for a lot of useless links and fringe websites. I suggest you read my “Merry New Year Assholes” and see for yourself what my relitionship with religion is. I also suggest you read my article about wishing fringe elements good luck in turning me and a lot of others into dhimmis or puritan Islamists. The difference between you and I is that I don’t fear Islam or Muslims.

      And your claim that this is something that goes for Islam at large, than I must dissappoint you. My old teacher in religion is Ahmadiyya Muslim. He did not try to convert us, nor did he try to poison our lunches as infidels. Your links are as laughable as Rapture Ready or Freerepublic.

      Another little thing. While Christian Europe killed Jews by the bundles, Jews found a safe haven in Islamic countries. Another little factoid that debunks your claims that Islams message and only message is “kill the non-muslims”. But fine! If you want to take the infamous words of Andy Chaudry at face value and representative for Islam, then the Islamists have half way succeeded in their goal of Global Jihad. Yet these are not the ones we have been bombing the last 10 years. The ones we have been bombing are poor poppy farmers, living in a completely different century than ours.
      I suggest you have a little look at these two documentaries. You might learn something…

      http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=afghanistan+before+the+wars+1+of+14&aq=1

      Note carefully the words of Brjzesinskij in part 13. Certainly he did not fear some religious fanatics.

      Talking to Taliban.

      Anyone believes that Taliban is a hardcore fringe group hellbent on world domination are not only ignorant, but have little or no knowledge on geopolitics. Most of them are poor farmers who have lost their homes, family or livelyhood. And all they want is for us to get the hell out of their land. Same way as the Native Americans wanted white European colonists to get the hell out of theirs once they found out the true motivation of the colonists…

  4. Hey Morten!
    I enjoyed your blog very much and look forward to reading the others.
    So you’re a 6ft, unwashed, dirty old barbarian pirate! That describes most of my exes and my husband now, ha ha.
    And your ex tried to domesticate you?….it never works, you cant tame a wild free spirit, male or female, but you can keep it as a pet for a while if you dont try and change it. : )

    • Hehehehehh!

      Thanks!

      I’ll write you more later. Got a hangover the size of Bournemouth today, and need some Zzzzz….

    • Thanks a lot.

      Please subscribe. Ignore my Norwegian rants.

      Sorry for not answering sooner….

      Best
      Bohemianwriter1

    • Frister tilværelsen i Irland. Forsøker å skrive ferdig Belfast novellene mine, m.m. Begynner å se frm til en ny reise et eller annet sted. Vet ikke hvor ennå, men en reise vil komme på trappene…

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    • Wanna put out adds on my weblog and get me contributions so I can continue to rant away against everything that is wrong on this planet? You get me readers and funds. I get you space to lure in customers for each click. But please, be creative! Online marketing goes by 13 by the dozen….

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    • Thanks. I am a small gorilla blogger whom get paranoid just having more than a 100 readers a day.

      Now, I’m trying to get some sort of inspiration to do my last story on a Belfast book that will scare the living shit out of some people…

      Bohemianwriter1

  10. Hei
    Jeg er også utestengt fra VEGEnett, noen vei utenom for å kunne kommentere igjen? Trix og tip smottatt med takk🙂

    Send meg gjerne en mail🙂

    Morten

    • Om utestengelsen ikke var av mest alvorlig karakter, så kan du alltids appellere til Caligulaene (moderatorene) der.

      Evt. ta en liten pause og spørre om å kunne komme inn igjen…

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    • I am merely a writer from Norway. Having lived all over the world. Call me a Cosmopolitan. A label that is shunned by stupid, flag waving, nationalist morons…

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    • I do not “bunk”

      I deunk!
      And then I drag every shitforbrain in the book though the mud, and having a laugh at it while drinking a bottle of whiskey and then look for a fight I can write about…

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    • Hey! Did you have to search for me?

      That’s good.

      I want people either to have to search for me through word of mouth than over exposure.

      I wouldn’t want to get into the focus of NSA just yet…

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    • Not long enough apparently. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that comprehensive words and meanings come out, and some poor sucker will read it, and take it as gospel…

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    • I’ll do my best when I get more time. Have been busy lately, trying to find stories, and still have my PC at repair. But I will be back to kick some more butts in due time…..

  32. Hei
    Savner deg på VGD, du ville elsket og komme tilbake, og legge igjen dine karakteristiske meninger som ville fått sedate debatanter til å øke blodtrykket titalls ganger i løpet av kort tid… Håper du tar deg tid, når du føler for det og komme tilbake og lage litt bølger – VGD er for det meste dominert av neo-conservative ********* og en og annen kommunsist (Ondero og Co) Vi trenger desperat noen som kan skyte frisk fra hofta – og ikke ta noen fanger på veien…. Blir litt ensomt og være en “stemme av fornuft” i en ørken av galskap som VGD til tider har blitt…

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    Som sagt, håper du kommer tilbake til galskapen på VGD, og lar din vrede kommer over de ugudelige og de fromme – og lage litt liv blant folk.. Er det noe debattsted som trenger en som deg, så er det VGD,…

    • Overskrift

      Ble ovefalt I Athens gater på vei hjem fra jobben med Norton. Ble sykemeldt I to uker. Fikk sparken for høyt fravær.

      Ble angrepet på nytt etter dette, frarøvet penger og telefon. De etterlot meg for død, før jeg reiste meg fra asken til ilden og lovte dem et helvete.

      Nå ønsker Teleperformance og nekte meg betaling ut tiden og forsøker seg med juridiske spissfindigheter mens jeg går med gipset kne, og knekte ribbein…

      Jeg jobbet for Norton/Symantec. Nå har de tuppet meg ut for å være halvveis invalid.
      Og jeg klør etter å komme tilbake til VGD og Norge for å fortelle frepperne hvor David kjøpte ølet, og spy ut min eder og galle på Blå en sen søndagsnatt…

    • Congrats with the discovery of Google Translate.

      As long as USA keeps bombing other countries wanting to dictate other sovereign nation’s policies, American politics IS my business. Unless you are an enemy of free speech.

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