A positive drug story

Bill Hicks once asked for a positive drug story in his shows. Well, he asked for it several times. Well, here goes. I got five of them!

Here’s the motivation:


1994: First time I ever had a joint was in Grand Canary Island. A friend of mine from my non paying work was getting some hashish. He was five years older than me. I was fresh out of my tour of duty, and needed a new adventure to forget the shit I went through only a few months earlier.

By then I have lost my faith completely in my own government. They have lied to me since day one! So I trusted my friend on this. Until then, I was very skeptical to any illicit drug. I was still brainwashed on this matter.

“What you have heard in school, and from the government about hashish is nothing but lies and propaganda!, he told me.

We went down to the local hashish guy, and got a few grams for practically nothing. We smoked some of it right there, and on our way back to our apartment complex. The smoke soon got a hold. I cannot remember laughing so much in one go. Everything became something laughable. I was not like the normal person, getting sick, or getting paranoia. This was good. My friend told me that I would soon get tired, and sleep like a baby. He was right! As soon as we got to his apartment, I was soon sound asleep on a couch. He was sharing with three other people. No worries.

During that time, I found out that most people I was working with, was smokers. Our team leader was an ex. Policeman from Northern Norway. Also he could tell stories on busts he once took part of. Now, he had quit that business, and was a team leader full of stoners. He’d seen through the lies that he was once upholding.

It was an eye opener. Since then, I have mostly used cannabis as a part of my spiritual practices. I have not seen back since. Every time a new version of Lord of the Rings came out on DVD, I made a case to get myself some good spliffs. I told everybody to leave me alone these special nights. It was me and Tolkien these times.


Belfast, summer 2005:

I was finished with my book, Birds the Bees and a Bottle of Whiskey.

I was not well for two months after that. I was on way to full self destruction on booze and Guinness. Breakdown was imminent.

My doctor gave me anti depressant which made me even more ill. I looked for something that could help me against the side effects of the drugs I got from my certified dealer.

I also needed to be on the wagon. So, I took a gamble. I went to my favorite pub, Lavery’s back bar, my dealer’s corner to try something. I ordered a coke with ice. For the first time I’m not drinking alcohol. I waited. Soon one of my contacts, showed up, and I got a quarter of an ounce for twenty quid. I did not smoke anything there and then, but went home and rolled the fattest joint on this side of Eden. It was good. For the first time in months, my mind could relax. For the first time in months, my soul got some peace. And I got hungry. Life came back to me, and the soup tasted better than ever. I ate a half a box of After Eight chocolates, a few apples, and went down to the kitchen and heated up some of the soup that my Elfish Queen made me when she was down to check up on me.

After that, I never missed the alcohol. In the weekends, I would smoke a joint in the morning and go to Botanic Gardens, sit down under a tree in the sunshine, read my Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and felt at peace with the world around me that I have never felt before. The tree was talking to me. So was the hashish. So was the book I read for the second time. I was at one with everything and everyone. The feeling of forgiveness and compassion filled my heart. I was smoking hashish…


Fall 2005, Belfast:

For months I was escaping from reality of a job more boring than an assembly line. I had until the  sacrificed my health, a relationship and my sanity to save their sorry asses.

 I was living less than a mile from my ex. girlfriend. Something was stirring inside of me. And I couldn’t stand the thought of going back to my place. I needed the Shangri La of Lavery’s. I drank my dinner there, and smoked like a chimney, and wrote. People knew me quite well at this point. They would leave me alone when I wrote, and talked to me when I was free. An old IRA hit man wanted me to write his story. I was reluctant, since I might come into something deeper than I wanted or needed. But I made my promise. High as a kite, stoned like a mountain, I wrote “Night in Bin City”…  Little did I know that in less than 18 months, I would get this particular piece getting exhibited in the gallery of Belfast’s Art forums; with a little help from my girlfriend at the time. Boy, if they only knew what state of mind I was in when I wrote the smear.

May 2006, Belfast:

The happiest time I had in Belfast.

I have moved to the Northern part of town. I had a new job, and a new girlfriend who loved me. Only 3 months earlier, I had hit rock bottom. But somehow, I found the strength and determination to get myself out of the hell hole without the help from anyone. It happened.

For the first time in my life, I decided to go for the LSD experience. No regrets, no bad thoughts about it.

Kim was living only a few miles away from me. I have gotten a few stamps from one of my dealers for a fiver together with my normal medicine.

I was in my room on top: A blue room that in certain light could be something from a ghost story. Well, the house was in fact haunted. But that didn’t bother me much at the time. I took both stamps, and swallowed it with a beer. I was on SMS with Kim. We were both deeply in love with each other. I was happy. The LSD was working. As I went to the bathroom to shake my thing, I looked out the window. The sun was setting. The colors shined brighter than anything I have ever experienced. A poem went through my mind. In less than 20 minutes, I wrote a poem that would be exhibited together with my other wee description of Bin City. I saw colors. I went through every hardship in Belfast, and faced it with piece of mind, and a joyous heart. An LSD experience well worth taking. By then, I have said good bye to whiskey for good. Good bye Whiskey, hello hashish and LSD. Benign drugs both of them. Good drugs if taken under the right circumstances.

One of them is growing under a heat lamp in my closet right now…

Soon, I will go collecting magic mushrooms. Soon, I will plant little seeds all over the island I am on. I will become a Marihuana guru, and let people know the benefits of certain illegal plants in comparison to a bottle of whisky at 3 in the morning…

Summer 2007:

After a few rocky months with my soon to be wife, and anger towards the Elfish Queen, I went to an old hippie woman to get my hashish. I call her my old aunt. Sometimes she acts like it. It was Saturday afternoon. It was her birthday. I brought her a six pack of beers. We shared a few bong hits together. They are stronger than the normal joint. They often hit me hard, and I need to relax. Lien down, and let everything come to me. After being angry and depressed for months, Kim was soon coming to visit me. Things were looking better. As I let the bong hit work, I rolled another joint. Again, peace came over me; forgiveness and compassion. As if all the answers to any problem I’ve gone through until then came straight to me.

Hashish and marihuana is not like what the different governments wants you to believe. If your mind is open to it, and ask for it, whatever problem you might have, Cannabis will talk to you, and give you hidden answers you would not find in either alcohol or pills pushed by your local doctor. The latter kills your ability to think straight. They both numb your mind. Cannabis may open your mind to new things you never would have discovered before.

Was this good enough for you Bill Hicks?



The Bohemian Writer, Malta 2009


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