What a Crock of Shit!

So this inspired me to write this little word salad that might be appropriate for my “Who gives a shit”…. There are several usages and meanings for the word.
“shit”.
It can be a positive, negative, neutral and cynical.
It can be used as an insult, describing the content of what sometimes comes out of a politician’s mouth, and as a complement.
Whenever I thought nothing could shock me or remotely surprise me anymore, I go to “HOLY SHIT!” as a default first reaction.

When I hit an elbow,  I would normally go to FUCK! and wake up my half diseased neighbours. Some people can’t tell their arse from their elbows.  Especially not in the higher echelons of society.
It doesn’t mean that taking a shit is a canonized act by the church fathers.
However, it can mean whatever comes out of the mouths of child molesting preachers who promotes stoning of gays, lesbians or transgender people.
It can also mean that something even surprised me, or think my evil thoughts about when I hear them speak, thinking “holy shit! We still live in the Dark Ages?”
I think Lewis Black prefers “HOLY FUCK!” in this scenario.
‘Which is a perfectly valid term, since most fundies are obsessed with fucking…especially everyone else’s fucking.
Nor does it mean that fucking is a sacred sacrament, or that baby Jesus promoted fucking at the sermon on the Mount; even though his sky daddy promoted being “fruitful and multiply”.
I can not imagine their skydaddy invented storks for that purpose of making babies.
It’s also a perfect valid term one have to use every day when listening to politicians in order not to implode. It’s like a security filter.

“This is good shit”
This does not mean that the contents of your anus is your favorite dish (even though it may have been just that at one point or another), or a favorite art piece that you want share with the world, but a hippy slang describing their favorite medical herb. The herb I almost got arrested for possessing only a short time ago.
“I don’t give a shit!”I would not give anyone the contents of my arse at any point unless their name is Drumpf or Clinton. Duterte. Erdogan. Putin. The Saudi sheiks, 96% of U.S Congress, 90 of my own parliament, and a range of corporate CEOs leeching off others like a fucking feudal lord. Send your worst turd to your favorite power whore you hate!
However, it is my first shield against all the drools and drivel that bombards my sensitive senses with senseless headlines, celebrity gossip, and fake scandals amongst our drama queens in the glossy magazines when I stand at the checkout line in every store. I can seldom refrain myself however from making another cynical remark which describes my thinly veiled contempt for them.
“You are full of shit”…
Which applies to most lawyers, politicians, teachers, insurance salesmen, faith healers, teachers, newscorps and PR firms most of the time….Ok…ALL the time. Ever read in a mainstream newspaper lately? It’s like they are living in the same fucking alternative realities as the politicians and corporations they work as PR firms for. You can count a handful of honest “journalists” and politicians. The latter aren’t “real” politicians if they’re not on the take and hangs around in the same cocktail circles as the power mongers. They are Statesmen. Like Mr. Smith goes to Washington.

“I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast”.

Open yourself for a direct hit, moron!

Reply to this one with this little gem coined by Adam Sandler: “You eat pieces of shit for breakfast”?

If you are full of shit, chances are, you ARE a piece of shit. A walking sewage of dung by default. One of Evolution’s freak accidents.  My list of pieces of shit gets longer each year. Ex. bosses, certain cops, politicians, state leaders, religious leaders and scam artists scamming people through politics, nationalism and religion.
Taking a shit is complete void of any positive or negative meaning. It’s neutral.It is just plain something that everyone do at least once a day…or several times a day if you have dioaherra. The SMELL  it creates might be highly offensive to anyone but oneself. Or someone immune against human gas chambers.   However, SAYING “taking a shit” needs context. It is for instance not appropriate to say in civilized settings, like when you are out dining fine, having your parents meet your girlfriend for the first time, and she suddenly blurts out so the whole restaurant can hear it, in the middle of the starter and polite conversation:
“Excuse me, where’s the loo? I gotta take a shit!”
likewise goes for “I gotta take a dump!”
Equally hilarious to say, it just does not have the same whiff to it when you demonstrate when someone are full of shit.
BULLDUMP!
Which has more in common with cow dung, where magic mushrooms are rumoured to grow. This knowledge alone makes it a lot more attractive to seek out dung hills than to a political rally sponsored by your gas station. I would have to wear a gasmask and bring extra bulbs, since my BS detector would explode every 10 seconds, and the speaker would just stink down the entire room.

Excuse me, I have to go take a Drumpf! (Trump)

I was inspired to write this little dark poem when I toked up some of the best sbit I’ve had in months and listened to some DNC hack blaming Russia for exposing their election fraud during the primaries..But it really applies to the entire gang of Establishment hacks on both sides.

Wikileaks Proves Primary Was Rigged: DNC Undermined Democracy

Advertisements

~A message to voters everywhere~

There is a saying about government from John Grishams “Pelican Briefs” that I truly appreciate.

Let me quote it for you.

“Individual over government, government over business and corporations, the environment over everything, and whatever the Native Americans want, give it to them!”

Where the Tea Party, Dick Armey, the religious nuts, and corporate interests want to take you, is government over people, the corporations over government, screw the environment, and whatever an immigrant does, it is evil.”

The socalled real Americans wants things to be like in the “glory days” while dumping their trash where they squat in while establishing a corporate theocracy where they misuse the term freedom.

They want you to pay whenever they screw up, and they keep the winnings.

And they want you to do their fighting, killing and dying for them. They are too busy counting your money, buying the next yacht, while they have some greedy, bigotted church leaders dump theirquasi religious garbage over you and your heads.

They want big government on pure moral issues. That’s why they want big government to invade your privacy. To decide whom you can marry, whether a 14- year old rape victim have a right to abortion, or whether a person can have decisions over ones own body that will affect the rest of ones life; They want to dictate what you can put into your own body. They want to deny you to use a plant! But if you buy a can of gasoline and drink the shit, it’s none of their business!

Need healthcare?

You have insurance? Sorry! We only take cash with no insurance!

The owners want you to vote in their interest, so that you might keep a job next year! Don’t you see a holy fourome matrinomy between Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson and the Koch Brothers?

You whine about freedom, but you give up your rights to feel an inch safer! Put a camera in each home, while your tax dollars are being wasted on the notion that USA is the next 1000 year reich.

Screw the homeless! They have themselves to thank for their misery.

Maybe it’s because they are veterans. Or got laid off from their jobs when their owners shipped their company to some rice field in the Philippines.
Or some over crowded factory in China.
Where they are being told to shut up, or lose their jobs and end up in prison for unionising. Those are all signs of a Fascist state.

USA have been on it’s way to become a fascist state since Nixon. This development have picked up speed since Reagan. I wonder if these two old bastards are having a laugh wherever they are now. I wonder if Hunter S. Thompson have started to give them both the beating of their lifetime.

I wonder if Prescott Bush is proud of his useless wannabe cowboy grandson whom was continuing the work that he started in the 30’s/

And what do you do?

You fall into the same trap as any ignorant village idiot for the same tricks that has been shown you many times if you have ever opened a history book.

You fall for cheap talking points, and appeels to your bigotry.

You are so simple that you think that things you blow up is a lot of fun. Specially when those objects fall on top of non- pre- born babies and they are brown, or belive in something else that your preacher tells you to believe.

C’mon! Let’s send you punk kids and some “true patriots” to do our killing for us and then leave them in the street until you can arrest them for smoking weed!

Their only salvation is for them to become as simple minded as you are and admit they are freeloaders whom didn’t get their limbs blown off for healthcare! They got their limbs blown off for your freedom to give your money to insurance companies, your pharmaceuticals and your boozer.

God forbid if you dare to have some weed instead!

Then your big government will use a private prison complex whom will make millions on your cheap labour.

Your oil companies are receiving billions while they spill oil all over the world, while chanting “drill baby drill!”

I’m thinking about starting my own oil company. Can I drill in your back yard and use Blackwater to chase you out for nickles and dimes?

Can I spill some oil right in your new backyard afterwards?

It might suck for you! But hell, it is good for business!

Why not exchanging your Constitution with the simple slogan “God, Guns & Bullets!”

Here in my country we claim to be the best in healthcare and social justice!

Yet somehow we are on top of O.D statistics. We have the same sadistic cops whom are raiding and chasing away poor gypsies while I’m stitting next to them with a joint in my mouth. My government still do oilspills! And we get fed the same brainless BS on TV, while news and politics here is so bloody boring that without drugs, watching the paint dry is more interesting.

My government is misusing a hell of a lot of funds. My government still persecutes pot smokers. We still have people like you here. They still live in their own bubble. Some of them in position of power. They also want to screw us. And they pack it in golden words and cruel lies.

They should be treated as you! Like neurotics with Herb treatment, the book of Papillion, and a train ticket out of town!

Learn something! See something! Read something! Even my bullshit!

Oops!

I have found out that my step father, the old captain of SS Norway in the late 80’s might read my rant. I better be careful with my language! He’s got such a sensitive soul. He can’t handle any foul words.

But I’ve been living too long in Ireland. They do have fresh language there…

Bohemianwriter1 needs your support

100 years ago there was no Norwegian Council for Cultural Affairs whom dealt out grants to writers and artists whom the government deemed worthy. There was something called patrons – generous benefactors of artists. Rich people who stuffed the pockets of writers such as Olaf Bull and Helge Krog full of hundred korner bills, while they wandered around in Paris’s streets, flat broke. Some patron could meet them in the street, and stuff their gills with wads of cash. They went to Monaco to try to break the bank off course.

Is there such patrons today?

As travelers Mack living from week to week, trying to conjure up stories that concerns all of us, needs your help, so he can continue his relentless battle against government stupidity, lies and abuse. Some Marie Amalie I’m not. Nor do I have a host of sympathetic journalists who write my tear jerks about an unjust society or an inhumane paper pusher in some immigratioin department. Nor have I risked forced expulsion from any country. But life on the road can be tough enough in any way. Just ask Seasick Steve. The new king of hobo blues.

Long have I dreamed of living a life of an adventurer. Sometimes there’s solvency in abundance, sometimes in subsistence, where the Caravan of the Damned is just around the corner. This is one of those times.

When I write my stories, I take the reader on a journey that few are bestowed. And fewer actually describes.

And the writing I does not come free. It has its price. The story from last weekend took a lot of energy out of me. And I`m not bucking to run for office. Wealthy parties whose only agenda is to get into power and screw you over, evangelical megachurches shamelesly begs on prime time TV to get their hands on an elderly womans social sceruity cheque, forcing her to eat catfood for the rest of the month so that the Preacher can “spread the word of God”…

Such stories deserve their contributions …

For those who want, all donations be welcomed:

Bohemianwriter1 Foundation for Monstering and Truth.

Gifts and donations can be sent to Nordea account no 6039 11 80795, or go to “About me” and pay throuch my paypal acct through the email adress listed there.

All donations will be noticed and praised will be written about the benevolent patrons …

Bohemianwriter1