There! I said it!
From hence forth, I dub this day for the “Drink your own urine day!”
4 years ago I was happy! With someone I loved!
3 years ago I was melting in my own misery, and looked forward to my own death!
2 years ago I smoked a bong and ate a lamb that woke me up!
1 year ago, I came back from another adventure!
This year, I drink to my own Drink my own urine day!
No friends! No family! No girlfriend! No wife that should have been! No house mates! No things to do at my job! No fucking Hope!
What’s it all for anyway? Shop to you drop, and have nothing left, and the merchants watch their profit skyrocket in glee? Oh! that’s right! We’re ini a recession these days!
Just another Curse on my lips as I know that some women up north are FUCKING someone, and its not me!
I call it a night of no hope!
And if Santa, or some jackal asshole of an Angle would show up to me tonight, I would treat that alien being like a fucking Gomorra horny bastard would treat them!
I have killed your Santa! And I killed your skyspook! They showed up on my door while I was emptying my bottle of booze. they moralized to me about being “nice” to people. Nice to whom? Gullible idiots who refuse to listen?
I punched in the nose! Dragged the bastards to my dungeon! Racket them up! Cut their legs off with a hedgetrimmer! Raped them with a corncob! Cut off their heads and sent these to the Mafiosos whom owns the trademarks to them! Jahves head I sent to Rome! Santas head I sent to put up on a stake in the town square! Their rotting corpses are now being used as jizz catchers by a flock og baboons in heat!
I know that my brothers back in Viking Land miss me!
But they know I do my own fucking thing. And they know that I got a world to conquer. I lost in Belfast! But by my own curse, I WILL curse the rest of the world!
I hope you bloody kids born of the postman will see snowmen fucking each other, or hanged! If you see this: You will KNOW that I am in the neighburhood!
And Scrooge can go lie in his own shame for his amateur “Ghost of the Xtmas Past” delirium!
I’ll see you on the other side asshole! Yes! I’m talking to you Dickens! Got another cute story from the bar in Heaven you’re getting drunk in?
Wanna meet me tonight? Or do you wanna postpone this meeting a few years?
FINE! I won’t show up in your bar in heaven until I have spread my shit a few more years! Just ask your skyspook to supply me with enough booze, drugs, and women to even consider the option!
So, what’s up next you fucking skyspook?